The best slow dance song ever - a 1970s classic
Plus a lesson in the dos and don'ts of slow dancing using Stranger Things as our sensei
Rock ’n’ Roll with Me is an email newsletter presenting one or more of my favorite danceable rock ’n’ roll songs, from the sixties onwards, along with some fun facts and memories.
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Our song of the day
Today’s song is dedicated to “Jamie” from my high school class, who courageously revealed on our alumni Facebook page that he only danced to one song at high school dances. No fast songs, just this one popular slow dance tune.
Pretty brave, when fast songs were the refuge of those of us too timid to engage with the opposite sex. I mean, in slow songs you had to touch.
The song he said he danced to is our song of the day, which I contend is the best slow dance song ever. I mean, in the history of music. Let’s look at why.
First we need to revisit how to slow dance properly. We can’t define the best slow dance unless we know what criteria need to be met.
Slow dancing lessons from Stranger Things
Several scenes from the hit streaming show Stranger Things will be our instructor — our sensei in the martial art of slow dancing. I find that Stranger Things is often an excellent guide to proper etiquette, mostly because the town of Hawkins and its denizens remind me so much of Endwell where I grew up. The distracted parents, the well-meaning and hopelessly nerdy teachers, the bored and sarcastic small-town cops, the kids doing their own thing without their parents having a clue — all the same. Even the houses look exactly the same!
So it’s perfect for discerning slow dance etiquette.
Watch this first clip, and then we’ll discuss the slow dancing dos and don’ts for guys, using the actions of the shy Will and the reckless Dustin as our examples.
The critical thing to recognize is that slow dancing is not just about the dance itself. Equally important is ‘the approach,’ as in any martial art. Will and Dustin provided us with perfect examples of the following don’ts in proper slow dance etiquette:
DON’T stammer and look to your friend Mike for advice when a girl asks you to dance — be a dude, dude
DON’T say yes to a dance with a girl who calls you ‘Zombie Boy’ — even if you are one — unless she’s comparing you to the Zombies, which is totally rad
DON’T stare plaintively as you watch one of your best friends dancing with the girl of your dreams — and with your mouth open no less, when said girl already called you a “mouth-breather”
DON’T loudly say “I’m going in” and wink at your best friend — in other words, don’t act like a major tool until after you get the girl, and even then…
DON’T approach a girl in a group of girls who are gossiping over drinks — that’s like approaching a pride of lions chowing down on their latest victim — they are going to growl at you and even turn on you with their claws because they are busy
DON’T approach a girl in a group, period — your job is to pick off someone standing alone and undefended — it’s the law of the slow dancing jungle, bro
DON’T keep saying the girl’s name and clearing your throat to get her attention when she’s clearly ignoring you — move on to better prey
DON’T extend your hand and say “Shall we?” as if you expect her to be thrilled you’re asking her to dance — that only works for the football quarterback, her gay best friend who’s always fun, or the student teacher she’s got the hots for
DON’T stand in the middle of the dance floor after you’ve struck out twice, looking for someone — anyone — who might take pity and dance with you
DON’T retire to the bleachers and cry, unless it’s actually your strategy to get a hot dance monitor like Nancy Wheeler to rescue you, teach you how to dance, and give you advice on girls — in which case, forget all the other don’ts because you are the master.
Now for the dos of the dancing itself. As our sensei in disguise Nancy showed novice Dustin, the “basics” are as follows:
Grab your partner’s hand — not too loose and not too tight, and make sure you surreptitiously wipe off the sweat from your nervousness on your pants first
Lead them to an open spot on the dance floor where you won’t collide with other couples — unless, of course, you’re intending to ‘unintentionally’ collide with the classmate or wedding guest you really want to be dancing with
If you’re the guy, put your hands on her waist, but keep your elbows bent so you don’t force her to stay at arms’ length and she can move closer if she wants
If you’re the girl, stand close enough to drape your arms on his shoulders with your elbows slightly bent, so you can move closer if he’s a catch or stay back if you don’t want him to get the wrong idea — or if he has BO or bad breath
As Nancy instructs, “feel the music…rhythm…start to move to it” — sway back and forth in place, and that’s basically it
If you want to impress your dance partner, shuffle your feet and slowly turn on the spot. But don’t do it if you have two left feet or are a foot-tripper.
There are also more advanced moves for the brave of heart, like Jamie, demonstrated by this next clip from the Snow Ball at Hawkins Middle School:
Let’s just agree that Mike does everything right. He tells El she looks beautiful, asks her to dance, shows his own vulnerability, holds her hand just right as he leads her onto the dance floor, shows her proper technique (as discussed above), and smiles at her. Bravo, Mike. (And thank you to the Duffer brothers, who wrote, produced, and directed Stranger Things, for this brilliant demo of slow dance ettiquette. Especially the close-up hand shot.)
Immediately after that Mike and El demo, we are given a montage of happy couples on the dance floor, showing us some more sophisticated options:
Grin at one another — dancing releases endorphins and should be fun
Stare meaningfully and longingly into one another’s eyes
Bob your heads — preparation for your future years as headbanging metalheads
Surprise your partner with a kiss — if you think they’ll be down with it
Go into what’s called the hug-and-sway position, making close body contact as you continue to shuffle and sway
Even more extreme, make out right there on the dance floor — usually ventured when you’re already a couple and you know that everyone, including the bored monitors, will pretend they don’t see your violation of the stupid and authoritarian rules designed to ruin your life as a teenager forever
Put your forehead on your partner’s face, as El does to Mike — but beware of giving them a nosebleed or making them sneeze
Ignore the creepy stalker music by the Police and the danger that awaits in the real world when you leave the dance — be Zen and keep your attention on your partner and becoming one in your transcendental sway.
Now on to what you’ve all been waiting for — the best slow dance song ever.
Here it is, finally — the best slow dance song ever
There are a number of reasons why the song I’m going to reveal to you is the best slow dance song ever: the perfect tempo for swaying back and forth, the romantic lyrics expressing desire and hope for something more, the deep sexy voice of the singer.
But maybe more important than all that — there is an instrumental intro for an entire minute at the beginning, giving you the perfect amount of time to scout out a partner, cross the gymnasium floor to reach their side, get them to say yes, and scurry into position in an open space on the dance floor before the first (and only) verse begins.
Not only that, you can tell from almost the very first note what the song is, so you can leap into action.
The song is also long enough — just two more minutes after the intro — to see if you like this partner and want to dance with them more, but short enough that you’re not stuck with them too long if you decide that you want to politely thank them and move on to more promising partners.
They hit it out of the park when they designed this song. It is perfect, and they are geniuses.
They who, you ask?
With no further ado — drum roll please — I present to you the best slow dance song ever, “Colour My World,” by that amazing group from Chicago called Chicago from their album called Chicago:
You knew it all along, didn’t you? It couldn’t be anything else. Or did you know because you slow danced with Jamie in high school?
We’ll listen to and talk about Chicago’s breakout hits that are ideal for the fast dancers among you in the next post. But first some fun facts about the best slow dance song ever.
Some fun facts
Chicago’s trombonist Jimmy Pankow tells the story of how he came up with the song in this video interview. He was on the road with the band, working on a little Wurlitzer electric piano between beds in his Holiday Inn room, listening to Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos and marveling at their structure. He started messing around with arpeggios, as you will late at night in a Holiday Inn when everyone’s sleeping, and came up with a 12-bar round of major and dominant 7 chords that started and came back to an F major. (As I’m sure you’ve done many times yourself.) Then he came up with a simple but flowing melody. He thought he had something good but wasn’t sure, so around 3am he went to Walt Parazaider’s room, woke him up, and asked him to play the flute part because “I gotta find out if it works.” Walt protested a bit (“It’s the middle of the night, dude!”) but finally accommodated him, and when Jimmy asked if he thought it was any good, Walt responded, “Any good? It’s going to make me famous.” And, of course, that’s exactly what it did, as well as gifting to the rest of us the best slow dance song ever.
The song was originally part of a seven-track mini-opera called “Ballet for a Girl in Buchannon,” which took up most of side two of the double album. As drummer Danny Seraphine relates in his autobiography, Street Player, he almost drove off the Los Angeles freeway when he first heard it on the AM radio as a three-minute single, because the group had intended it as a long-format work and hadn’t been warned that it was being spliced up into separate songs. (Actually, Danny admitted he was so enraged, he almost swerved off the road and hit a guardrail. He found a pay phone — remember those? — and called their manager to find out what the heck happened and which [expletive of your choice] was the culprit.) Turns out it was the head of their record label Clive Davis who had made the decision to splice it up, and lucky for him (and us) he proved correct, as both “Colour My World” and “Make Me Smile,” as well as “25 or 6 to 4” from side three, became Top 10 hits on the Billboard Hot 100 and catapulted the album to platinum status and the group into rock superstardom.
Jimmy admitted in an interview that he had written the mini-opera and the song “Colour My World” as a way to win back his ex-fiancee Terrie, who was then attending college in Buckhannon, West Virginia. Did he win her back? (We know he didn’t marry her, as his first wife was named Karen.)
Jimmy also said that getting hugs from strangers and having them tell him that the song has memories and associations related to key events in their lives, such as a wedding or birth of a child, is the ultimate validation and reward as a songwriter. More memories continue to be made — and Jimmy no doubt gets lots more hugs — as the song has been an ongoing part of the set list for the band over the past 54 years!
On a final note, let me state for the record that I love “Colour My World.” Anything sung by Terry Kath is gold in my book, and the Chicago album is on my list of all-time favorites. No one can beat early Chicago. They were magic, and we were lucky to have them put out music during our high school years.
Questions for discussion in the comments
Does Endwell have an alternate dimension like ‘the upside down’ in Hawkins? That high school biology lab… And what exactly was going on behind the closed doors of those big buildings at IBM, GE, Singer-Link, and Endicott-Johnson Shoe Company?
Were you a Dustin, Mike, Lucas, or Will in middle school? An El or Max?
Why did Chicago use the British spelling ‘colour’ instead of the American spelling ‘color’ in the song’s title? Do they say it with a British accent too?
Would a hug from a stranger be your ultimate validation for writing “Colour My World”? Winning your ex-fiancee back? Earning royalties? Or is it writing the best slow dance song ever in the history of the world?